Don Juan's Reckless Daughter

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2008/07/so-many-hustlers-out-hustlin-today.html

i have been craving jerk sauce for a few days now, it hit peak last nite when i came home and smeared some on my last half of tuna sandwich (yesterday i ate THREE tuna sandwiches)(and that's it)(anyway) tonite is jerk chicken nite so i went out to get fixins from dominion (they carry the brand of tipsy jerk i prefer, loblaws has the other saltier kind (lame) even though it's a million times more fattening (the tipsy jerk is) I DON'T CARE because it is a million times more delicious!) fuck enough brackets? and so as i am power marching and starving past spadina/bloor i see all those guys with black zipper binders and some rubbermaid thing, all chatting away, i maneuver my way around and through them thinking YES free! and what do ya know, one RUNS after me saying hey hey hi what's your name lauren i say then he says whatever his dumb name is i say what are you selling and quicken my pace almost speed-walking, and so he matches my speed, he chuckles oh no not selling anything why would you think that? oh well the fact that you are SPEED WALKING ALONG SIDE ME AND YOU ARE A STRANGER (i don't say that) but i do point at his binder and say BECAUSE OF THAT and he laughs some more, no no i'm not selling anything, i'm not scamming anyone and i'm not a creeper or anything like that. oh so this ISN'T creepy right now? coulda fooled me. anyway he says BUT do you like children? what kind of question is that i'm thinking and honestly say uh well nah whatever not really i don't know thinking he's going to rail into me about starving third world kids then i see on his binder it says PLAN or something else fishy, and now we are at the doors of dominion (i was going to use that as my out even though i wanted to walk to the wine store first but i feared this ding-a-ling would speed walk alongside me all the fucking way there) so i turn to him and say accusingly ARE YOU ANTI-ABORTION? and right then and there his veneer of chill cracks and he disgustingly spits out YES and i go SEE YA and take off as he is calling my name behind me down the street going aw come on lauren we can work this out! WTF RIGHT! then this white old guy asks me what was that guy saying and i jump a mile cos two strangers now in the span of minutes are talking to this guy i blurt out oh pro-life bullshit and immediately regret it cos this dude looks like he may be conservative but he says oh he wants you to vote "insert some dude's name i have never heard before but assume is conservative" and then we both snort and then he says i thought he was mormon, trying to convert you, this guy is also walking just as fast as i am so i'm like great now we are in a conversation walking in the same direction, so i go yeah, not today buddy, (as in there will be NO conversions today) dude gets the hint, takes his pace down a clip and off i go miraculously into the sun right into some doctors w/o borders chick canvasing, oh good grief. then on my way back the black history month shiesters are at it again in front of shoppers. so damn pushy.

oh and there is NO meat whatsoever at dominion right now what the fuck.

oh one more thing, the gap between my two front teeth is almost closed, magical!

AWWWWWWW fil just brought me home a ceramic hair straightener!

ha my bad i just googled PLAN, it's sponsoring children stuff. oh me and my emotions! well, they need a NEW approach, plan for THAT.

BUT here's a guy who likes children, specifically his son's girlfriend!

and check these comments haha.

because property crimes are not defined as acts of violence
daphne gottlieb

it's not what he did, it's how
he did it so when I say he stole my heart
I mean he stole
my heart as if he sidled up
to my car at night
smashed the window with a crowbar
jerked the door open
threw the newspaper, the ice scraper into the street
decapitated the bobblehead cat
that was nodding sweetly on the dash
and then ripped out the stereo--he
didn't just grab the faceplate--
he tore the whole box out
bent and scraped the area around it
didn't clip the end of the wires
just yanked them until they gave
and then ran away, black box, jaw set, breathing
heavy

( so there's my car in the morning )

Sadness is making a metric assload of Marcella Hazan's Minestrone Soup and having no friends who can come over and eat some.

( Minestrone Soup )

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2008/07/is-chandel-ier-here.html

merkley???: hi raymi the minx
i had dinner with three laurens last night
my world is filled with laurens
but only one raymi

me: hahahaa
are they pronounced loren or luhren like me

merkley???: i dont pronounce your name luhren

me: well thats how it is

merkley???: luhren
is that how your mom says it?
i'd never call you lauren anyway
it's only raymi as far as i'm concerned

me: yes raymi is good
but luh-ren is how my parents say it
it was their choice

merkley???: they were obviously drunk
i actually think i tend to pronounce that name more like lawren
which is how it looks
but i am highly evolved

me: its a combo hybrid of luh and law

merkley???: i'm between law and lor with a smidge of luh
i think you'd let my natural pronunciation fly

me: i would not

merkley???: thats cuz you arent laid back

me: people who call me lauren do so condescendingly like they have an "in" with me
no if my name is pronounced a certain way my entire life i cant just make allowances

merkley???: thats like when people think they are being cute and they call me dave

me: like eastern euros have weird ways to say katarina

merkley???: those people are not clever

me: KATA-reeeeeeeeeeena
they get really mad if u fuck it up
wow dave
thats not even remotely funny

merkley???: but they say it like they found out a big secret
and they are instantly dropped off my to do list

me: dave is your real name?

merkley???: its my first name

me: but yeah thats how people say lauren to me too

merkley???: i bet

me: like they are super smart

merkley???: meanwhile we think -- idiot
one time this girl was going -- "i know your name is DAVE, so i'm gonna call you DAVE --
and i said well i'm gonna call you CUMFART!
and i still call her cumfart when i see her

me: HA
does she get mad

merkley???: well she doesnt bug me much thats for sure
nobody wants to be called cumfart in front of friends

me: hahaha im doing my archives thing and came across this gem, remember it:
ok what did one chandelier say to another?

is chandel 'ier (here)?

merkley???: i dont remember that

me: you commented and said yes you are definitely drunk still

merkley???: i'm good at quips

me: ha ha -- you're so drunk. those are drunk jokes. aka not funny when you're not drunk, hilarious when you are.
merkley??? | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 07.14.07 - 12:25 pm | #

yeah they're borderline dad jokes too i just laid down for a bit and watched some of a league of their own and cried to it twice, two sad parts in a row and now i don't feel nauseous anymore. is chandel here? AHHAHAHAHHAHAA
raymi | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 07.14.07 - 12:25 pm | #

cos i say in the post man i must be drunk still

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2008/07/sprinklers-in-rain.html

july 2007 archives time ya dicks!


awesome strikes again.

ok not horny anymore.

art man it's so, so, art, man, woah, yeah? yeah.

fil planet wasted.

it's mmmmmm o'clock.


july 2006 archives cont'd.

canada day pics

i can't believe how fat i thought i was at this time in my life, never underestimate the power of drugs and an abusive boyfriend.

sneaky disease art.

where i told fil his nostrils were different sizes BIG MISTAKE so for the rest of the nite we got to talk about how fil's nose is FINE THE WAY IT IS.

some of us dont got no trust funds, you hippie

this one has pink piping and little pockets for my juice money punch me please.

fil STILL won't cave and get these teeny weeny trunks!

RIP midtown :(

me: cid is on my arm i am typing with my left hand
it is annoying as hell

scott is a loud talker so when he had to make a phonecall i told him to go in the bedroom cos i knew the fucking fred penner acoustic guitar playing neighbour asshole would appreciate the deep tone of scott's voice coming through the wall.

hop into my delorean lets go back to last friday

then i say what is wrong with you and he says no what is wrong with you!? NOTHING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU etc.

our waitress blew, not until she realised i had "connections" with her employer did she stop blowing. some frozen grapes were sent over and she is like uh these are for you and do you know why? with loads of attitude, like it was a test - way to be professional.

she got up to dance near me and whipped me in the face and back of the head with her amazon hair a few times, thanks.


HOW TO SNACK LIKE A DRUNK/STONER CHAMP

yeah it's so overwhelming to verbally abuse a woman likely suffering from alzheimers and cannot fend for herself, way to go dickbag

how cute are british people?

if i were to somehow meet rihana and she had her umbrella, could i like, demand to stand under it with her, is her song like a mutually binding-contract if i buy it off itunes?


mine, note the cardboard. i wasn't planning to eat it all in one sitting, fil helped, then gave me a WICKED COOL LECTURE about recycling!

oh sigh

the other dirties are on his flickr.

pauper's, nice patio, if you like drinking amongst nerdy annex spinsters and guys with eyebrow piercings.

cos lesbironi is such an event

me: are you going to pick wildflowers and water them with rainwater and drink rainwater from your satchel canteen that is covered in oldschool army tarp

oh man i am dying of laughter right now and i am crying can't breathe that video never tires.

robofunk's mushroom experience HAHAHAHHAHHA

i am going to draw a picture in MS paint to represent the sadness brb.

i am smirking like an imp because this dude is all up in fil's space telling him how to take pictures and he just wouldn't shut the fuck up or detect that he was annoying the shit out of us.


the most annoying thing about nerd magnet bands is the type of nerds that come out, they think they own the band and fuck you if you get in the way

I AM A DRAGON YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME LANCELIONIVAT YOUR TRICKSY SPELLS ARE FUTILE AGAINST MY GREEN BALL OF WRATH WREEEEEUUUURAWR!

MY shroom story

chandalier jokes never get old.

oh god! this food! fuck i want it again right NOW!

"Death knocks all night at my door.
The soul answers,
and runs from the water in my throat.
Water will sustain me when I climb
the steep hill
that leads to a now familiar place..."

( Journey to the Place of Ghosts )

I'm home after a very very very long trek across the desert yesterday/last night. I have lots of things to write including "Whose Homeland Security Anyway?", an abstract poem reflection thing on turning 46 (tomorrow) which includes body, sex, kink, tenderness, dreams, longing, resignation and landscape (ha!), the still to be written Feminism, Capitalism, and Compromise, and my response to 60's sexual counterculture shit, but I'm not going to write any of it today because 1) no one's around to read it because it's a holiday weekend and everyone is busy doing things that don't involve staring at a computer (I hope), 2) I woke up with the Skittle Kid Bug (it finally caught me after spending five days nursing a sick kidlet on vacation), 3) it's been a week since I did any drawing and I want to lock myself in my art room for a couple of hours, 4) I want to clean my house for a birthday present to myself, and 5) I'm going to go see Wanted because I need to see some slow motion bullets penetrating skulls.

All that aside, I'll post writing after the holiday weekend and enjoy the holiday doing all of the above and then some.

Happy Day. Time to lock myself up with some Cheap Ass Black Ballpoint Pens.

Bye. 

I'm trying to track down a reasonable bibliography of pornography studies since about 1985 or so. I don't care what the position is, I just want information. I'm happy to cull myself so don't worry about quality, etc. Just as much information as possible.

Yes, this is for a book. No, the book is NOT about slash.

Thank you kindly.

Attempted repost to get rid of the tag annnoyance

So, Monday my darling husband Eric asked me if I felt up for an "adventure." Now, in Eric-speak, an "adventure" means "I want to take you someplace, but I'm not entirely sure where it is, so we'll probably get lost on the way, but don't worry, I've always managed to get us home! :)", but it is a great way of finding places we wouldn't have found otherwise. So I said sure.

Twentry minutes later, we came upon a little Italian place that looked intriguing, so we decided to stop. Whether or not this was the place he meant to take me has yet to be determined. On the menu, we saw something...interesting.



I was still feeling adventurous, so I figured, why not?

( More pictures here )

For those in the Seattle-ish area, the restaurant was Galliano's Cucina, with two locations - Tukwila and SeaTac. Completely worth getting lost. :) Also, the leftovers reheated very nicely.

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2008/07/dont.html

jesus christ where do you think you are, put your shoes back on you gross losers, this isn't your playroom!



you can always tell the suburban kids from the city kids at shows, especially if it's at a place like the phoenix, last nite was tv on the radio (a 30 dollar ticket!)(we had guest list, i would never pay that much)(i mention the 30 dollars cos what idiot would pay that much for a show and take their shoes off at it)(am i crazy? or is it not totally arrogant to cruise on a couch nodding off in your socks on anyone's couch but your own?) anyway, these babies couch hogged the entire time with their shoes off like they just hit the bong and it's totally fine to just you know, relax shoeless in a dirty bar. stop you are embarrassing my SOUL! basically everyone was high who went to this show, high and useless. what fun. oh and there was some guest list drama that i'm debating whether i should burn a bridge or not over by railing about it on my blog (everyone will know who i'm talking of regardless), and it's with the SAME person i chose to not previously burn a bridge with, past incidences is what i'm saying, a notoriously despised person within the industry already, a total bulldog. anyway, coffee first, gossip second.

 

I

It is a strange evening. But I finished another poem. I mostly finished it last night, all but some of the gluing. ( ramble ramble )

* * * * *

[looking so]

Out of disappeared
when, now I
wicked fair, she
found--not dead
beautiful but deep-laid
in looking so.

Dream: having
turned had, help
a spell floated
far. Fire started
to fall in
hunched eyes.

Shut, the maid
lay in feathered
beside. Her
eyes sank down
pillars of silent
and grew thick
the hedge of too much.

* * * * *

(as always, pictures tomorrow)

The first time I ever had this stir fry was when my sweet pea made it for me. I know it sounds simple, easy, lame, etc, but I love it. However, I must admit that I can never get it to taste as good as his did that very first time. [And neither can he, so ha!]


( Photos & recipe )

This comes from a Washington Post story about a speech Barack Obama gave in Colorado Springs -- a Republican stronghold -- in which he advocated national service:

Obama did not shy from partisan controversy as he spoke here of Sept. 11, 2001, and Americans' readiness to serve after the attacks.

"We were ready to step into the strong current of history and to answer a new call for our country, but the call never came," he said. "Instead of a call to service, we were asked to go shopping."

I don't know whether Obama himself wrote that last sentence -- he seems to be writing more of his speeches than any candidate since Woodrow Wilson -- but whoever did deserves a reward. Repeat after that Master Card campaign: "Priceless."

I wasn't kidding cpratt. I truly am "Mister Archive":

I must confess, though, to being dead wrong about the "it'll be cool" part. It was 108 that day. And neither the bookstore nor our flat had air conditioning, as you may remember. After the reading, while everyone was eating the spicy lentil and spinach dish I'd prepared, we took turns "wearing" bags of frozen vegetables on our heads.

My suicide returns to me each year
Bearing less and less resemblance.
He is fat with rumors. My suicide
Is laughable and fat, mumbles
Latin into a cramped hole.
Over anything that doesn’t move
He pauses, moves and then reflects, thin as doubt.
“Fool,” I say. My suicide returns.
He doesn’t know me. He says he has learned
The ingredients. “Idiot,” I say.
Fat with what he does not eat,
He moves beneath his movements, gestures
From within. I identify myself
By falling through the slot.
Without my thinking it is winter, it is winter.
All by itself it will be spring.

In the beginning I was living hand to mouth,
footloose in the city that broke my heart.
You could say I had my head in the clods,
but I also had sand in my craw. I was smart
enough to follow my nose—even if it went
the way of all flesh—but spurned the men
of learning who could have helped prevent
a hundred weeks of rain and sorrow. Back then
I thought there were dues to pay, an extra mile
a girl would have to go. Cold, wet to the skin,
I found my oracle in Chinatown. She smiled
and said, “Don’t wear heart on sleeve.” Didn’t
mention death or taxes, art or life, love or money.
Before I could blink, she was showing me down
the steps to a street awash in milk and honey.
I could not speak. My heart was in my mouth.

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2008/07/jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez-guys.html

my comments are down, the internet is broken, there really is no point to being on a laptop right now if we can't even talk about how great my hair looks or how funny i am, if you really want to share your opinions with me right now you can email me and i will put your words into this post and then we can get on with our lives. i'm uploading some vids on youtube right now and there are some pics from yesterday on my flickr i am too fat to put here. i guess i should shower, it's been daaaaaays, i have to be on camera in two hours i almost forgot and tonite we are seeing oh what the hell a package is downstairs BRB.



you know when couples start to look like each other...